When Pride Has You Spinning Your Tires

Where are you spinning your tires right now?

I mean that both figuratively and, in my case, very literally.

Recently, I got my Jeep stuck in the mud. I consider myself a pretty good driver. I’ve driven off-road, four-wheelers, ATVs, you name it. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like getting stuck. In fact, I used to intentionally put myself in situations where I might get stuck just to prove I could get myself out.

So when I found myself sliding into a muddy ditch, my first instinct wasn’t to stop.

It was to hit the gas.

“I Can Get Myself Out”

I was parked on the side of the road where the ground was incredibly muddy. Before I knew it, my Jeep started getting pulled toward the ditch.

I tried going forward. I tried reversing. I gave it more gas.

In my head, I kept thinking: I can get through this. I can get myself out.

Meanwhile, there were people around me watching the whole thing unfold.

That certainly didn’t help my ego.

Eventually, I reached a point where I had a decision to make. I could keep fighting the mud and potentially roll the Jeep, or I could stop trying to force my way out and aim for a soft landing in the ditch.

So I stopped.

I checked myself.

And I let the Jeep slide safely into the ditch.

At the time, it felt a little like accepting defeat.

Looking back, though, I realize I wasn’t really fighting the mud.

I was fighting my pride.

Sometimes Pride Looks Like Persistence

We often think of pride or ego as being loud and obvious. But sometimes it disguises itself as determination.

I’ve got this.

I don’t need help.

I can figure it out.

I just need to try harder.

Those thoughts aren't always bad. Persistence can be a great quality. But there comes a point when determination stops moving us forward and starts keeping us stuck.

For me, that moment looked like tires spinning in the mud.

I wasn’t getting anywhere, but I kept pushing because stopping meant admitting that I couldn't solve the problem on my own.

Once I finally stopped, the people around me reassured me that there really wasn't a way I was getting the Jeep out on my own. We could call a tow truck. We could ask for help. It wasn't the end of the world.

Eventually, a stranger came along, helped pull me out, and I got back on the road.

Simple as that.

The problem became much easier once I stopped believing I had to solve it alone.

Where Are You Spinning Your Tires?

That experience made me think about how often we do the exact same thing in other parts of our lives.

Maybe it’s a relationship you keep trying to force.

Maybe it’s something happening at work.

Maybe you're struggling mentally or emotionally but keep telling yourself you should be able to handle it.

Maybe someone in your life is offering advice or support, but your pride won't let you hear them.

You keep hitting the gas.

The tires keep spinning.

And eventually, all you're doing is digging yourself deeper.

This can be especially difficult for men. A lot of us have learned, directly or indirectly, that we're supposed to be the person who handles things. We're supposed to fix the problem, figure it out, keep moving and get the job done.

But asking for help doesn't erase your strength.

Sometimes strength is recognizing when your current approach isn't working.

Know When to Let Someone Help Pull You Out

There are moments when persistence is exactly what we need.

There are also moments when we need to stop, look around and accept the help that's already there.

That requires putting pride aside long enough to ask:

Am I actually making progress, or am I just spinning my tires?

You don't have to wait until you're completely stuck to let somebody help you.

Listen to the people who care about you. Accept support when you need it. Change directions when something isn't working.

Sometimes getting back on the road starts with taking your foot off the gas.