Meet Me at the Corner of Chaos and Calm

Now here’s a crossroads to locate: the intersection of Chaos and Calm.
How do we type in these coordinates?
With intention.

As a retiree, I am happily wandering the countryside in pursuit of waterfalls,
covered bridges, quaint shops and other curiosities.

It’s nice that I enjoy solo travel. I’m comfortable in my own company and
always, in the company of the Cadre Family.

In the former nine-to-five structure of going to the office every day, these
mini-adventures had to be squeezed into the weekends. But now I get to
unfold a map of my own design. I can draw lines from here to there and in-
between, putting a star next to places of interest.

A ribbon of road, a fringe of forest, an endless blue sky. 

My vagabond soul.

Off-highway is my favorite choice. In "settings" I ask my navigation system
to avoid freeways and toll roads in pursuit of The Road Less Traveled.

And off we go. 

Last summer I was returning home from a road trip and directed my GPS
off-highway. The back roads were portals of wonder as I coasted through
the Allegheny Mountains. Trees, dense and overgrown, met overhead to
form a thick green canopy. For miles and miles, I met no other cars. I drove
right into a canvas of aging barns and stately homes, hushed cemeteries
and white steeples, landscaped lawns and laundry dancing in the breeze.

Vegetable stands came into view and I slowed down so I could read signs
that declared in bold block lettering, “BEST SWEET CORN EVER, 3
DOLLARS A DOZEN” and “LEAVE YOUR CASH IN THE BASKET IF
WE’RE NOT HERE”.

This is the downhome rural America I love. In the cross sections of one-
pump gas stations and irresistible ice cream stands, I never once
considered I could be doing 70 on a straight stretch of asphalt.

Meandering at 40 or 45 miles per hour, I took in acres of field corn,
pastures of grazing cows, glorious bundles of hay as far as the eye could
see.

As the shadows lengthened and dusk whispered in, I realized I still had
hours to travel before reaching my driveway. 
It would be dark soon.

Reluctantly, I switched my navigation to "highway" and accelerated into the
blur of traffic. 

What I'd really like to see in our high-tech world is a GPS that can track the
intersection of Hurt and Mending.

I want to go there.

Wouldn't it be helpful if we could call a friend and say, "Meet me at the
crossroads of Grief and Recovered Joy" ? 

Or, "Let's have coffee at that little place on Main Street - you know the one -
where we can empty the dregs of cold resentment and tank up on a warm
cup of affirmation!"

If only.

No advances in technology will locate the corner of Loss and Acceptance;
it's an organic mechanism of the human heart. 

No warp speed coordinates will zoom in on the corner of Anger and
Forgiveness. You have to get there by fits and starts. By lurching sideways
and avoiding the potholes of outrage. By falling down and getting back up.

Sometimes, by offering large ridiculous amounts of grace in places where
you would have welcomed the same kindness.

Fact is, there is no straight highway, no winding back road, to a Safe
Arrival. The best anyone can do is remain calm and trust the navigation.

Lean in and listen to your gut. Bend an ear to the beckoning turns and
switchbacks. Reverse course if that feels correct; follow your instincts.

When we get to those gutsy mile markers, we should honk and wave, so
the next traveler feels not so alone.

For extra points, pull over to the side of the road and have yourself a
vigorous primal scream.

Kathy’s on-the-fly Rules for the Road:

1. Take lots of stretch breaks.

2. Take a forest bath. You can learn more about this here: How to Do a
   Forest Bath: 12 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

3. Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation with a stranger. At a
   rest stop, surrounded by other humans so you are safe.

4. If you have your dog with you, allow her to pause and sniff; it’s her
   road trip, too,

5. Bring good snacks and plenty of water.

6. Take some photos, but also rely on your heart’s memory bank –
   it’s a treasure trove.

7. Plan for destinations but follow your gut. Adventures will reveal
   themselves.

8. If you get lost, remain calm and take deep breaths. Pull off the
   road. Look around. Find your bearings. Whisper a prayer.

9. If you get lost, that is not a failure, it’s a serendipitous side trip.

10. Air B&Bs are hosted by fabulous people who know the area and
    want you to have a great experience. Try it!
    If you ever find the intersection of Chaos and Calm, please locate a cozy
    coffee shop nearby. I’ll meet you there.

The author, Speakwonder, in the Allegheny National
Forest – where she reports great conditions for forest bathing and primal
scream therapy. Kathy is a Cadre contributor and presenter on grief and
recovered joy. Contact her for more information, speakwonder@aol.com