Freedom: The Art of Being the Observer, Not the Absorbed

Freedom. It sounds big and wide and loud. Like open skies, a full tank, and no map. But real freedom? It’s a word that stirs something deep within us. A longing to live authentically, to grow without limits, to evolve into the truest version of ourselves. Here’s the thing: freedom isn’t a destination. It’s a practice, a mindset, a way of being. Freedom is about giving yourself permission to evolve and grow. Because the truth is, once your baseline needs are met (food, shelter, stability, bills paid, etc) it's the stories you unconsciously entertain that hold you back. It's the part of your mind that's still trying to please, perform, prove, or protect. It's what the yogi's call: vritti's.

We cling to old identities, inherited expectations, and the comfort of the familiar. But what if we saw growth not as a betrayal of who we were, but as a celebration of who we’re becoming? What if we embraced the freedom to evolve as our birthright? Because it is!

At its core, freedom means you give yourself the sacred right to grow. To shift. To stop absorbing what was never yours and start observing what actually feels aligned now. Let’s explore this.

Freedom from Expectations: Writing your Own Script

So why do we hold ourselves back? Why do we cling to roles that stopped fitting years ago?

The truth is, many of us are still living out stories that were written for us by family, culture, religion, or early survival patterns. 84% of adults report living according to others' expectations rather than their own values (Identity Research Institute, 2024). That’s a staggering number of people stuck in roles they didn’t audition for. It’s not freedom. It’s quiet suffocation. A trap so many of us are stuck in. 

Breaking free from these expectations isn’t just liberating, it’s transformative. Research shows that people who pursue their own goals (rather than inherited ones) report 52% higher career fulfillment (Occupational Psychology, 2023). A year after breaking free from family expectations, life satisfaction increases by 39% (Developmental Psychology, 2023). It takes strength to break from our mold, but is always worth it.

Practical Tip: Start small. Identify one expectation you’ve been carrying that doesn’t align with your values. Ask yourself “Whose voice am I living for?” Then, give yourself permission to let it go. Remember, disappointing others might just be your path to freedom.

Freedom from Comparison: Unplugging from the Highlight Reel

Comparison is the thief of joy (and inner freedom). It’s one of the subtlest forms of self-abandonment. It sneaks in through the scroll. It shows up when someone else’s joy makes you question your own pace. And it hits hardest when we forget that our journey isn’t supposed to look like theirs. In fact, social media comparison increases depression symptoms by 41% in regular users (Digital Wellness, 2024) and can steal us from happiness if we allow it to.

Here’s the good news: stepping away from comparison can be a game-changer. A “comparison fast” improves self-esteem by 28% within just six weeks (Positive Psychology, 2024). If you find yourself comparing, ask yourself “what is the need behind this action?” and stay curious as to what comes up. 

Freedom from comparison doesn’t mean you never feel envy. It means you notice it and respond with curiosity instead of shame. You begin to replace the reflex of “I’m behind” with “I’m on my way.” You stop looking sideways and start rooting deeper into your own personalized rhythm.

Your journey has never been late. Your timeline doesn’t need to match theirs. And your joy was never meant to be a performance.

Practical Tip: Try a “comparison detox.” Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy. Replace them with accounts that inspire and uplift you. And remember, your only competition is who you were yesterday.

Freedom in Connection: Love as Liberation

Many of us fear that intimacy means losing ourselves. We were taught (subtly or directly) that love meant sacrifice. That closeness required shrinking. That to be chosen, we had to be agreeable, easy, and less than.

But the truth is, healthy relationships don’t limit your freedom, they expand it. Research shows that healthy relationships are linked to a 45% increase in personal autonomy (Relationship Science, 2024). Partners who support each other’s growth report 54% higher relationship satisfaction (Love Research, 2023). 

Love, when it’s rooted in respect, doesn’t limit who you are. It amplifies it. You don’t have to choose between being loved and being yourself. The right relationships will challenge you to grow with them, not out of them. Freedom in connection means being met fully, seen clearly, and supported fiercely. It’s about a love as liberation, not limitation.

Practical Tip: Reflect on your relationships. Are they helping you grow, or are they holding you back? It’s ok to outgrow people or have them grow in a different direction than you. Have an open conversation with a loved one about how you can support each other’s evolution. Real love gives you space to breathe.

Freedom to Evolve: The Courage to Grow

Here’s a beautiful truth: you are allowed to outgrow old versions of yourself. You are allowed to outgrow beliefs, roles, relationships, even dreams that once lit you up. Evolution is not failure. It’s aliveness.

Research shows we go through 3 to 5 major identity shifts every decade. That’s not a flaw in your character, it’s a fact of human development.  (Developmental Studies, 2023). People who embrace personal evolution report 48% higher resilience scores (Change Psychology, 2024). The people who struggle the most aren’t the ones who fall apart, they’re the ones who resist the falling.

Think of a snake shedding its skin or a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. These natural metaphors remind us that growth is a process of letting go to make room for something new. Freedom is not a fixed state; it’s a dynamic journey of becoming. You’re allowed to make space for what’s next without apologizing for what was.

Practical Tip: Take an “evolution temperature check.” Ask yourself: What am I outgrowing? What am I ready to step into? Write down your answers and reflect on what freedom looks like in this new chapter.

The Power of Community in Personal Growth

Healing and growth aren’t meant to be solo missions.

When we’re witnessed in our truth and held by people who celebrate our changes instead of fearing them, everything gets lighter.

Growth feels safer and more sustainable when we’re surrounded by supportive people who celebrate our evolution. In fact, people who practice personal freedom in supportive groups maintain authentic choices four times longer than those who go it alone (Group Psychology, 2024). Community validation amplifies confidence by 91% (Community Psychology, 2024).

Freedom to evolve doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Finding your “growth tribe” can make all the difference. If you haven’t found your growth circle yet, it’s not too late. Community doesn’t have to be huge. It just has to be real, you just have to put yourself out there to find them!

Practical Tip: Seek out communities that align with your values and aspirations. Whether it’s a local group, an online forum, or a trusted circle of friends, surround yourself with people who encourage your growth and celebrate your wins.

Putting it all Together:

Freedom is messy. It’s not always glamorous or graceful. Sometimes it looks like crying on the kitchen floor after saying no. Sometimes it feels like silence after you choose truth over approval. But it’s in those moments that feel shaky and raw, that’s when the real liberation takes root.

You don’t need to be perfect to be free. You just need to be present.

To pause long enough to ask: Is this who I really am? Is this still true for me?

Observe. Don’t absorb.

Grow. Don’t grip.

Evolve because you can. Not because you have to prove anything.

So, my friend, what does freedom mean to you? And more importantly, what’s one small step you can take today to claim it? Remember, you have the freedom to evolve and grow. The only question is: will you give yourself permission to do so?

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